My Changed Perspective on the Roles of Men and Women in a Relationship

I first met Mikaylah after I experienced a terrible heart break and joined a community group at the church we both went to. We gradually became closer and have been best friends for over a year now. Right in the beginning, I got to know her [then] boyfriend, Jason. He was fun and outgoing in an amazingly ridiculous kind of way, and I assumed he was just another “Christian” guy at church who found a hot girl to date at community group…I was so wrong.

After experiencing Jason and Mikaylah’s relationship for the past couple of years, it has forever changed my outlook on dating and now, on marriage.

I grew up with parents who were divorced so I never saw firsthand what Jesus meant when He said, “Husbands, love your wives AS CHRIST LOVED THE CHURCH,” and “Wives, submit to your husbands AS YOU DO THE LORD.” (Ephesians 5:21-33)

How did Christ love us? He laid down His life for us. How do we submit to the Lord? We show respect and confidently follow His lead.

Jason is one of the most selfless people I know, and I constantly see him put Mikaylah first and has a heart of service. I see Mikaylah trust Jason and honor her own strength and independence by choosing to respect and honor Jason. It’s literally so beautiful.

Their wedding last week was the start of something new and exciting that I’m honored to pray for and celebrate!

I learned from the McCarty’s (ahhhhh still so crazy they have the same last name now) what a modern-day relationship grounded in faith looks like. I tweaked my standards and grew a lot because of these besties of mine.

I’ve learned how to let the little things go, how to submit without being weak, how to set expectations for my boyfriend and myself, and how to know and live out my worth.

If you don’t have a couple in your life who you can learn from as you watch them love and learn, go find one! I highly recommend joining a community group at church (NOT A SINGLE’S GROUP). Also, reach out to your friend’s parents! If you have a friend with parents who have a great relationship and are devoted to the Lord, ask them to grab coffee with you and/or your significant other. It’s so valuable to learn from others who are a couple years ahead of you and also a couple decades ahead of you.

I hope this was encouraging to you and that you know you deserved to be loved selflessly, exclusively and abundantly!

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You are worthy,

Liana